Dancing with explosives
by YaoiRocks
Summary: Dei a 17yr old bomb expert witnesses a terrible crime & must go in hiding to survive…as a girl? What is Dei to do when some of the hottest and popular guys of the school come after him and also be able to keep a low profile? Cant fit full title in ItaDei
1. Chapter 1

A/N: ZOMG!! I wrote something!! Well…I started this a while back and all I had to do was finish it…which the help of my sister **MigetX**.

I would also like to thank for **Kitsunegyrl** betaing this chapter for me X3

This wasn't as long as I had hoped –pouts- But at least it is_ something_…college has destroyed my muse right now so yeah…I don't know when I will be updating my other stories…and I have a fetish for sasodei right now…so yeah…this fic was started when I had a fetish for Itadei and I thought there wasn't enough good ones so I decided to write one!

This is a small itadei crack fic…though this chapter has a gory beginning. I just though it amusing if Deidara had to go in disguise as a girl…the idea made me go into stitches…but yeah…enough of my ramblings…

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto -pouts- I would love to...but I can't...-cries- if I did I would make it every Yaoi fangirls dream...but I do own this plot...so...thats a start -shifty eyes- am not planning anything to claim Naruto -whistles innocently-

Pairing: ItaDei, onesided sasodei, KakuHid maybe others….

Summary: Deidara, a 17 yr old bomb expert witnesses a terrible crime and must go into hiding to survive…as a girl!? What is poor Dei to do when some of the hottest and most popular guys of the school come after him…and be able to keep a low profile?

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Dancing with explosives…bombs, cross-dressing and gangs!

Chapter one:

_He couldn't believe his eyes as he stared at the scene that was played out before him. He didn't think it would go this far…this was too much. He had to get out of here. He flinched as another scream of pain penetrated the air, making his whole frame shiver with fear. He dared to peek around the corner…but wished that he hadn't._

_It was everywhere…that precious crimson liquid…it covered the walls and the floor, leaving them glistening in the dim light. He gulped as he watched, almost entranced, and the stains that covered the wall in intricate patterns. Then a groan of pain snapped his eyes to the gruesome scene before him. _

_He clamped his hand over his mouth to prevent from screaming or heaving. The man was obviously alive…but from the look of him, he would have been better off dead. From the looks of things, both his arms and legs were broken, multiple stab wounds were visibly deep and oozing dark blood. He was crumpled on the floor like a broken corpse his limps quivering and face distorted with inhuman pain._

_A tall figure emerged from the shadows like a demonic ghost his form towering over the man yet his face could not be seen. He knelt with a swift grace regarding the man with a tilt of his head like a kitten would; toying with his food. Words were spoken and yet he could not hear them and the man began to whimper like a wounded dog begging in hoarse whispers. _

_The figure reached under his coat and pulled out something shiny that glinted sickly in the dim light. The figure placed it against the man's skin and pushed it sharply into one of his wounds. The man arched his head back howling, a wretched and spine-chilling sound and he tightened his hand over his mouth tears trickling down his cheeks. A sharp thin object was left jutting out the wound and the figure pulled out another object similar to the first brandishing it in front of the mans anguished face. The man sobbed loudly then let out another piercing shriek as the figure thrust it into another wound on his leg. _

_A second figure emerged more feminine than the first their hips swinging from side to side as they strolled lazily but stopped a fair distance from them viewing the scene almost hungrily. _

"_Pein," a soft woman's voice said and the first figure looked up his face hidden by shadow yet his eyes burned through like angry torches. At the sight of the second figure a grunt could be heard and the first figure, Pein, looked back to his victim contemptuously with a jagged object poised in his hand. _

_He stood and turned to the second figure but as an afterthought whipped round and struck the man forcefully across the forehead sending a spray of blood across the room. As the tortured man flopped to the side by the force of the blow, Pein approached the new comer and reached out a hand to caress their cheek. _

_Again words we're said but he could not here them, not that he wanted to the visions before him were enough. He whimpered behind his tightly clenched hand, quivering and shaking as his nails dug into his cheek causing blood to gently ooze from the wound. He did not notice as so deep in shock was he that he stood rigid like ice a cold sweat trickling over his skin. _

_A brief movement caught his eye and his attention turned to the two evil creatures not to far away and Pein had something of solid menacing black._

"_He's near it anyway…" he said almost in a whiney voice like a kid that wanted something._

_The other dark figure sighed and shook their head. _

"_Fine," they spat, "but are you sure that's all of it!"_

_Pein nodded and after a moments pause the other nodded. He turned and raised his hand and grasped there, was an automatic hand gun poised and ready. _

_He gasped as the light caught the dull metal and he shook violently as the impending action dawned on him. He watched in petrified horror as Pein's finger slowly squeezed the trigger. _

'_Oh no' he breathed cowering from the man and then it went off the sound tearing at the silence like lion claws tearing at its preys flesh. He jumped at the sound letting out a terrified squeak as he watched the man's brains splatter and cover the wall and floors behind him._

_A heavy silence hung in the air, almost suffocating him. He opened his eyes which he hadn't known that he had closed. He tried to quieten his laboured breathing to avoid being discovered. He dared to look back at the scene before him. Pein was still there, the other figure had gone, where, he did not know. He tried his best, not to look at the mutilated corpse._

_All of a sudden, Pein's head snapped up and he stared right at the place where he was hidden. His eyes widened as that automated hand gun rose in his direction, at his heart. He jerked his eyes to look into the murderous ones of the dark figure. _

_A shiver raced up his spin as he looked into Pein's eyes. They looked so cold and empty…made him think that he was looking into a dark forbidden tunnel. He was rooted to the spot as the figure approached him, his form towering above his own. _

_His whole body was frozen with trepidation as the menacing figure kept approaching at a fair, even rate making it seem as if it was taking an age to approach…and he was getting more and more agitated with every step. Eventually, the light footsteps came to a halt._

_He looked up into Pein's eyes, seeing them empty of all emotions. He gulped as Pein's fingers tightened on the hand gun that he was holding. His legs suddenly had their feeling back and he stumbled backward into the wall, trying to make himself as small as possible. Pein's merciless eyes watched his every move with unnerving glare. _

"_What are you doing here?" Pein asked in a quiet voice that could be heard clearly throughout the room. There was a shuffling from the other side of the room and he could feel another pair of eyes on him, though he dared not to look away from Pein._

"_I…" Damn…he couldn't think of anything! He shouldn't be here…he shouldn't have seen this…_

"_You what?"_

_He stayed quiet, simply staring at the taller male. A silence hung in the air for what seemed hours before Pein spoke once again,_

"_Since you cannot come up with an excuse as to why you are here…I'm afraid I'm going to have to get rid of you…and a shame really…you were such a good employee…Goodbye…Deidara…"_

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Deidara awoke suddenly sitting bolt upright in his bed covered in a film of cold sweat. The chill of his room made him shiver his eyes darting about uncertainly at the shadows cast by the dim light that floated through the gap of his curtains. He looked down at his clock and swore mildly. It was four in the morning and he was to be picked up and taken to the police station at eight.

He turned to get off the bed but stopped, flinching as a floorboard above his head creaked as someone walked over his head in the apartment upstairs. Ever since that incident he was jumpier and more skittish than normal. The nightmares were the unholy testament of the mental scars that it had left behind.

The images of the man's corpse flashed behind his eyelids and no matter how hard he tried they would not go away. It was like they were branded to his eyelids with hot pokers attempting to blind him and unstable his mentality. After what he had been through he was certain this was the case. Like that parasite had somehow cursed him into having these horrific visions.

He let out a shuddering breath as his feet touched the cold floor boards and wandered into the ensuite bathroom. He pulled the light cord turning on the light and looked at his feminine face in the mirror. His face was paler than normal and his damp hair clung to his face in clumps.

He ran the cold tap and washed off the sweat making him feel a lot better but his mind refused to stray from the dream.

He was afraid it would forever haunt him and that the scars would never heal. True he had seen carnage at a distance but never had he seen some one murdered in cold blood like that, nor had he seen anyone relish in the destruction of another human life as that thing did. He called him thing a he was not sure he was even human that and the thought of that man's name sent him into near hysterics.

He forced his mind to clear its self as he climbed back into bed pulling the covers back over him to ward of the on coming frosty chill of dawn. He could already tell the sun was rising as the predawn light could be plainly seen through the gap in his curtains.

He turned his back on it trying to fall back asleep. When he finally he did fall a sleep all that awaited him was the same nightmares that plagued him always.

He awoke with a start as his alarm blazed loudly in his ear. He lashed out aimlessly not caring if he hit it or not but the annoying sound died telling him he had indeed hit it. He wiped the sleep from his eyes feeling more tired than he should when he woke up.

Ignoring this he stumbled into his bathroom to quickly shower then came back to dress adorning his usual baggy jeans and his favourite shirt which had printed on it 'Am An Artist… Don't Fuck With Me' written as though it was graffiti on a wall.

He looked down at his clock again and the digital numbers told him it was seven twenty which was perfect. Just enough time to catch some breakfast before this guy came.

He strolled into the kitchen the only indication he was nervous was the constant darting of his eyes and his breathing had skipped up a notch apart from that he tried to act as normal as he could.

He fixed himself his usual of plain toast, banana and a glass of orange juice. He downed this just in time as a loud, forceful banging resounded from his door. He jumped nearly falling from his chair in surprise then looked at the clock on the wall.

"Damn it… he's early, un!"

The banging continued as Deidara got up and approached the door nervously then stopped by a table, opening a draw and pulling out a 9mm hand gun from inside. He continued to approach the door starting to feel a little panicky, the pistol in his hand quivering.

"WHO IS IT, UN?!" he shouted through the door his voice going up an octave or too.

"Agent Johnson, FBI I'm here to escort you," the voice replied.

Deidara opened the door with the door chain still affixed and peered at the man sceptically. The agent did indeed look federal in his black suit, dark sunglasses and dark greased black short cropped hair. The agent peered down at him with a smile.

"Its okay kid, here," he held up his ID to assure the young man and when Deidara looked at it he sighed returned his hand gun to the drawer and opened the door. He stepped out on to the balcony of his apartment locked his door and followed the agent down the stairs towards his car.

The agent led him to a sleek black car, opening the back door to allow the blonde to enter the car. Deidara stayed quiet the entire journey, keeping an eye on the agent to make sure that he didn't try anything. But could you blame Deidara? Johnson didn't seem to mind the constant scrutiny he was getting by the smaller male, but it also didn't go unnoticed by the dark haired agent.

After what seemed an age to the blonde, the car finally stopped outside of the police station. Deidara stayed still as the agent got out of the vehicle, walked to the back door that Deidara was seated it and opened it. The agent smiled at him motioning him to get out of the car. Deidara did so, looking about before turning his gaze to the station.

It was a pleasant building with a lawn with the path lined with a variety of small flowers and bushes either side of the glass doors in which you could see into the reception area that has a few comfortable looking chairs occupied by several people. The building itself was fairly modern looking with many windows that went from floor to ceiling, though they were tinted so you were unable to see the inside, yet the occupants could see out of the building onto the busy street below. It looked rather cool really.

Deidara jumped at a small tap on his shoulder and he looked up at the agent.

"If you were to follow me young sir." Johnson said before leading the way up the path to the buildings entrance.

The man held the glass door open for the blonde before entering himself. Instead of going to the front desk, Johnson lead Deidara though a set of doors and down several corridors that had several officers rushing about, either going to go do a patrol of just coming in from one. Deidara, out of interest looked into several open doors.

Some had policemen lounging around with coffee in those white foam cups and he even passed one open door where a couple of officers where interrogating a punky looking guy who was scowling deeply while talking in a loud voice and using grand gestures, almost hitting the two officers who seemed unfazed by the mans violent gestures.

"In here, Deidara-san." Johnson's voice brought him back to the present.

Deidara blinked and walked into the office that Johnson had motioned.

He looked around the office…it wasn't that big…occupied by a light brown wooden desk, a couple of chairs behind it and four file cabinets all cramped together. Deidara then looked at the man behind the desk and blinked.

He was in his fifties with long white hair tied in a low ponytail. He had red marks down each cheek that made it look like he was crying blood. Deidara shook his mind from that thought and took a seat in one of the chairs when the man motioned for him to sit down. The old man smiled kindly at him and said,

"My name is Jiraiya and I have been put in charge of making sure that you are kept safe…and I think I have the perfect solution."

"Oh, un?" Deidara asked curiously, tilting his head slightly.

Jiraiya grinned and said, "Well…you're short for your age…and you do look feminine…"

Deidara frowned at that. What was he getting at?!?!

"And, un?" The blonde snapped. Agent Johnson gave a small chuckle and the blonde threw him a glare though the dark haired male was not fazed, but he did stop laughing.

Jiraiya cleared his throat, getting the blonde attention back to him again.

"Well, as I was saying…it is near the beginning of the school term, so we're sending you to a school…but there's a catch…"

"What is it, un?" Deidara asked, getting a little impatient. Why didn't the guy just come out and say it?

"Well…the catch is…you're going to have to attend the school disguised as a girl…"

Deidara sat there for a few minutes staring at Jiraiya before bursting out into laughter. The old man frowned at the blonde teenager. Deidara then looked at Jiraiya before asking,

"You're joking…right, un?"

Jiraiya shook his head,

"Pein knows you're a male…so what better way to hide then as a girl? Believe me Deidara-kun…its best as your…unique looks will get you a lot of attention if you were a guy."

Deidara gaped at the man before frowning and standing up,

"Do you know how humiliating that is, un!?"

"Its better then getting killed, brat."

Deidara froze at that. It was indeed very true…if he didn't cooperate with this man then he will indeed be killed…and Jiraiya was right…he would be easily recognized as a guy….He gave a sigh. Screw pride…if it meant him living…then he'll do it.

"Fine, un." He snapped, "But only for the length of time it takes you to find him, no longer…okay, un?"

Jiraiya gave a nod and then smiled.

"Well Deidara-kun…Johnson here will take you back to your house and I'll pop in tomorrow to give you your new uniform and a few rules, okay?"

Deidara gave a nod before turning and storming out of the office…what was he getting into? And he had to find a way to get back at Jiraiya…a bomb under his desk? Yeah…that sounded like a great idea…

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Well there's the first chapter, hoped you liked!! And I would appreciate it if you were to drop me a review…the humour will be starting in the next chapter…this was to kinda lay down part of the main plot so meh –shrugs-

Tell meh if you think its okay to continue!!


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: ………o.O I know what you're thinking….OMG AN UPDATE

Sorry people but lately I've been rather busy –pouts- and I actually forgot about this…if you want to thank someone, thank black55widow for reminding to get my ass moving and finish this chapter…so yeah…-showers black55widow with cookies- coz you deserve them X3

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto -pouts- I would love to...but I can't...-cries- if I did I would make it every Yaoi fangirls dream...but I do own this plot...so...thats a start -shifty eyes- am not planning anything to claim Naruto -whistles innocently-

Pairing: ItaDei, onesided sasodei, KakuHid maybe others….

Summary: Deidara, a 17 yr old bomb expert witnesses a terrible crime and must go into hiding to survive…as a girl!? What is poor Dei to do when some of the hottest and most popular guys of the school come after him…and be able to keep a low profile?

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"You have got to be kidding me! I am not wearing that un!" Deidara cried pointing to the school uniform that was currently spread out on his bed. It was a girls school uniform…with a mini skirt as well. There were also some tight flesh coloured shorts and a breast shape mould with some woman's underwear. Why did the skirt have to be so small!? And why the fuck did he have to have fake breasts?! Wasn't he being humiliated enough as it was!?

"Well you are going to have to Deidara-kun…" Jiraiya said in a slow and patient manner. He and Deidara had been arguing like this for the past hour.

"But why a mini skirt un? With breasts?!"

"Because it's the fashion these days, that's why. And the fake breasts? That's to stop people from working out that you're a male, that's why."

Deidara glared at him and Jiraiya gave a sigh. This kid really was too much,

"Just do as I say…you did agree to work with me…now be a good boy and put the clothes on!"

"Fine, un!" Deidara snapped before snatching up the clothing and storming into the bathroom. He scowled at the clothing. It consisted of a white blouse with a blue V-neck cardigan, with knee high socks and plain black dolly shaped shoes. There was also the blue mini skirt which Deidara pulled a face at.

With a resigned sigh, he got dressed in the clothing, even the shorts, fake breasts and the woman's underwear before looking at himself in the mirror. He blinked then frowned …why did he have to look so much like a girl? He stepped out of the bathroom glaring at Jiraiya. The old man grinned at him and said,

"Well it looks like you have the perfect disguise there…very nice. And you put on the breasts rather well as well…and I hope the shorts as well, but I'm not going to check." The man gave a grin at the glaring blonde.

"Shut up, un!"

Jiraiya gave a chuckle and motioned to a feminine shoulder bag on Deidara's bed.

"That has all your stuff in it for school including your timetable since the head-teacher knows all about this….today I'll be dropping you off, okay? But the rest of the time you are to take the public transport."

Deidara nodded…something told him that this was going to be a long day…

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Itachi gave a bored sigh as he watched the class around him with bored blood red eyes. Their form tutor had not arrived yet…but he was sure she would appear with her usual dramatic entrance…

He turned to the people that were seated near him…the other members of Akatsuki…the most feared gang in the school. If they really wanted, they could own the school…but what's the point in that? Itachi just preferred to be able to do whatever he wanted with the other members of the gang. Right now, his closest friend, Kisame who looked rather like a shark with blue tinted skin, sharp teeth, small beady eyes and blue hair was having a small argument with the gang's artist Sasori, who had red hair and was rather lazy looking. Tobi, who for some unknown reason wore an orange mask which Itachi decided not to ask about, was talking to Zetsu. Zetsu, like Kisame, looked a bit odd. Zetsu, on one side of his face was extremely pale, yet on the other half he was extremely dark skinned. His hair was dyed green and he had strange pupil-less golden eyes. And then there was Hidan and Kakuzu who were making out behind him. Hidan was a rather foul mouthed guy with silver hair. He had unusual violet eyes which made him one of the most wanted guys in the school…though Kakuzu would never let anyone near Hidan…Kakuzu was extremely possessive. Though Kakuzu and Hidan always had their arguments…Itachi suspected they did that just for the make-up sex…but yeah…

The door to the room burst open and there stood their form tutor in her normal mini skirt and fishnet top and dango in one hand. Her sharp chocolate brown eyes scanned the room which suddenly went quiet. Even the members of Akatsuki fell silent. Anko was one of the few teachers the Akatsuki actually respected…

"Alright class! We have a new student. Her name is Dei and I would appreciate it of you welcomed her…any objections?" She said smiling sweetly at them. The class shook their head and Anko moved further into the room. Itachi looked at the door and raised an eyebrow at the slightly miffed looking girl standing there. She wore the usual girls' school uniform, but you could tell from her posture that she was angry about something and felt uncomfortable in the clothing. She was very pretty he noticed, with high cheekbones and rather exotic looking blue eyes which she was wearing black eyeliner that made her eyes stand out. She had long blonde hair to the waist with the fringe covering her left eye and some of her hair in a ponytail. Her shoulder bag was hung over her right shoulder coming to her hips. Her weight was supported on her left foot while her left hand was fisted on her hip.

Beside him, Sasori gave a low whistle,

"Now there's some real hot stuff."

Itachi glanced at the smirking red head before shrugging looking back at the girl again. It was then that Itachi realised that the only free seat was next to him. He frowned at that. He didn't want another fangirl after him…

"Go sit down next to Itachi, Dei…" Anko said vaguely as she looked through the pile of sheets on her desks. The girl frowned at Anko before going over to Itachi and sitting down heavily, although rather gracefully, dumping her bag on the desk as she did so. Itachi watched as the girl took no notice of anyone, even though the whole class was watching her curiously and some guys even looked lustful, and begin searching through her bag for something. She pulled out some clay and began to play about with it. Itachi raised an eyebrow at this. He watched as she sculpted the clay into a small bird figurine. Sasori leaned over and asked,

"So…Dei-hime…you like art?"

The blonde visibly twitched and glared at Sasori,

"Don't call me hime, un!"

Sasori leered at the blonde,

"Why not? You look like a beautiful princess that needs her prince…" Sasori smirked before his hand whipped out and grabbed the clay bird. Dei made no move to stop him. Sasori looked at it closely before giving a grunt,

"I suppose this art is okay…"

The blonde blinked then frowned,

"What do you mean okay, un?"

"Not as good as it should be…"

"It's perfect, un."

"How?"

"Because, un"

Itachi then blinked as the clay bird suddenly exploded in Sasori's hand, making the red head yelp and fall backwards onto the floor. He looked at his hand, which luckily for him only had some minor burns on them, before looking up at Dei.

"What kind of crazy art is that?"

"Explosives…that's my art, un." Was all Dei said before turning her back on the red head as laughter could be heard around them. Anko just glanced at the scene before returning to her work, totally disinterested. Sasori scowled before getting up and sitting back down, grumbling under his breath. Itachi looked at Sasori, amusement showing in his blood red eyes. Looked like this girl was not one to deal with. The rest of the class blinked at the small explosion before going back to their work, occasionally shooting Dei a few nervous looks.

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Deidara heaved a long sigh. He had been here a few minutes and he hated it…he felt rather uncomfortable in the mini skirt and he was always tugging it to cover more leg…not that it worked anyway. He felt rather exposed and decided that it was just like going to school naked! He grumbled slightly under his breath, crossing his arms on the table and burying his face.

He felt the person sitting next to him shift slightly and he lifted his head up to stare at the person sat next to him. It was that boy Anko mentioned…Itachi. Yeah that was his name. He watched the man work with curious blue eyes, studying the strong features of the pale male. His mid back length black hair was tied at the neck with a piece of black string, leaving a few strands to frame his face. A rather striking contrast of silky, pitch black against the smooth pale skin.

Itachi looked up, his eyebrow cocked slightly at the blonde,

"Something you want?"

Deidara narrowed his eyes at the dark haired male, not liking to be addressed like that.

"No. Why would I want something from you, un?"

Itachi blinked before smirking and leaning back in his chair, staring at the blonde. Beside him, the red head, Sasori, was looking in between Deidara and Itachi, his eyes curious. The two stared at each other for a while, blue eyes locked with blood red before Deidara can a small delicate snort and turning away back to his work again.

After the bell had rung, Deidara stood up quickly, stuffing his work back into his bag as he stood before he exited the classroom, breathing a small sigh of relief. He looked at his schedule and frowned. Science. He gave a sigh. He _hated_ science. He then swore under his breath. He didn't know the fucking room!

"Need help?"

Deidara turned around and blinked when he saw Sasori standing behind him, maroon eyes staring intently at him. The blonde gave a shrugs and replied,

"I don't know where the room is, un."

Sasori smirked and replied,

"I would gladly show you where the science lab is Dei-hime."

Deidara twitched at the 'hime' part. He was a guy for fucks sake! But then…Sasori didn't know this…but still…he was no princess either. He forced a smile and replied in a rather strained voice,

"Sure…thanks."

His smirk widened before he passed Deidara, grabbing his hand as he did so. The blonde blinked, blushing slightly. Why the fuck was Sasori holding his hand!? He tried to tug it out of the red head's grasp, but Sasori only tightened his hold. Deidara gave a sigh, allowing the other male to drag him along.

After a few minutes of being dragged along by Sasori, they stopped outside a classroom door. The red head opened it up, tugging Deidara inside and towards the back of the class. Itachi was already there, seated right in the corner, watching their approach with expressionless red eyes. Sasori sat next to the Uchiha before dragging the blonde down to sit next to him.

Deidara gave a sigh as he dropped his bag in the empty seat next to him and looked about the room. Only half the class was there, chatting quietly to the each other as they waiting for the rest of the class as well as the teacher. He gave a bored sigh and reached into his bag, drawing out his stuff, pulling a face briefly. It was all rather feminine things…damn that Jiraiya… If he had the chance, he would blow that man off the face of the earth. A smile slowly creped onto his face at that thought, rather liking it. He wasn't an explosives expert for nothing.

He gave a yawn, rubbing his arm slightly, starting to feel bored. He wanted the day to end…he loathed school…and it didn't help that he hadn't been to school in about five or so years…

When he was about 12 he was pulled out of school…he was said to be to mentally unstable for school and not only that but he had been rejected by every school as he was a pyromaniac and did thinks like blow up classrooms and the like. Not that he cared. When he was thirteen, he had been accepted into a multi billionaire company as the leading explosives expert…which is where he had been working up until now. So he didn't have to bother with going to school…he home-schooled in his own time.

Deidara looked up when the door shut with an audible snap and the classroom fell silent. The blonde froze, his eyes widening slightly. Oh fuck no…

His eyes then narrowed into hateful slits as he watched the figure by the door make his way to the front of the classroom. Deidara could recognise that pale skin, long black hair and sharp golden eyes anywhere. It was Orochimaru. When Deidara had been working under…Pein…Orochimaru was a well known chemist there whom loved to experiment on things. What he experimented on, Deidara didn't know and didn't fucking want to know. He was also rather close to Pein so Deidara had the sneaking suspicion that Orochimaru would do those small secret jobs for the almighty leader.

He gave a sigh as he forced his face to become neutral, though he was still glaring slightly at the pale man. He hardly listened as he started talking about some things about electrode potentials and the like. Deidara already knew about all this…he sighed yet again. He then snapped to attention when they were told to do an experiment of some kind. His eye twitched. Great…something he didn't want to do on his first day. He felt a small nudge on his arm and he looked beside him to look questioningly at Sasori.

"You can work with me and Itachi if you want…not that we do fuck all…would you believe that shithead of a teacher is scared of us?"

Deidara blinked before laughing. Oh…that was wonderful…one of the most creepy guys in the world and he was scared of a couple of teenagers?! Daaamn that was rich. The rest of the class had already gotten up and put on their lab coats and glasses, moving around the classroom as they did their work.

The three at the back however, just sat there. One of them just simply was glaring at the rest of the class, another drawing in a sketchpad and the third messing about with small clay models. Orochimaru spotted this and snaked his way through the students to stand in front of their table with narrowed eyes. The three stared back at him, all glaring slightly. The pale man gave a sort of sigh,

"Are you going to do any work or am I going to have to report to the headmistress again?"

Sasori gave a shrug,

"Go ahead…we don't give a shit."

Golden eyes glared at the red head, who seemed unfazed, before they landed on the blonde. Orochimaru studied Deidara for a little bit before saying in a rather cold tone,

"If I were you Dei-_chan­_ I would actually get some work done instead of lounging around with these….criminals. Such a pretty young lady shouldn't hang around with those kind of people."

Deidara almost smirked. He didn't exactly have the perfect record, but he decided it was best not to mention that. Beside him, Sasori gave a yawn, wrapping his arms around Deidara's waist and drew him close, smirking at Orochimaru as Deidara in turned glared at Sasori for touching him,

"Dei-hime can chose who she wants to hang around with, got that? Now push off and play with your little boys. We don't want you here."

Orochimaru hissed in a threatening manner before he turned around and stalked off, leaving the three alone again. Deidara grabbed Sasori's arms and unwrapped them from himself and shifted away from the red head, giving him a cold stare,

"Was that really necessary, un?"

"Yes, in order to get rid of that kid fiddler."

"Kid fiddler, un?" Deidara was curious. He didn't have any record that he was aware of…but then those would have been top secret documents and he wouldn't have been able to access them.

Sasori made a disgusted face before saying in a slightly sick voice,

"He has a record for being a paedophile…though "apparently" he has gotten over his desire…but we don't think so. We followed him once to play a prank on him and you should have seen his face when he passed a school…it was rather disturbing…"

Deidara covered his mouth as he gagged slightly. That was just so sick! Why would they employ such a person? Sasori nodded slightly as Itachi scowled before standing up,

"Come on; let's just get the fuck out of here." He swiftly made his way through the students, opening the door and walking out leaving it wide open. Sasori gave a shrug and grabbed Deidara's hand again, pulling him out of the classroom, golden eyes glaring at them as they left the room.

The red head and blonde trailed behind the Uchiha, not bothering to catch up. Sasori leaned closer to Deidara and whispered,

"Itachi loathes Orochimaru….he tried to kidnap Itachi's little brother, Sasuke. Man was Itachi pissed."

Deidara blinked then frowned. The more he learned about that teacher the more he despised him…almost as much as Pein. He shuddered as memories threatened to surface, but he roughly pushed them back. Sasori obviously noticed this and asked,

"What's wrong?"

Deidara faked a smile and said,

"Nothing…just really freaked out…I have heard about him before, un…though nothing about his child obsession…"

The red head blinked curiously, waiting for Deidara to tell him.

"I heard he experiments on things…though what he does I have no idea, but I'm sure its pretty sick, un."

The other male pulled a face slightly before shrugging and falling silent. Itachi turned his head to look at them as he stopped, waiting for them to catch up with him. When they had caught up Deidara asked,

"What are we going to do then, un?"

The other two looked at him and shrugged before Sasori muttered,

"Its lunch so we'll just sit in the hall. We usually do."

The blonde blinked and tilted his head to the side, studying the two in front of him.

"Don't you ever get in trouble for it, un?"

"No, the teachers are all scared of us and don't do anything…the only teachers we do respect are Anko-sensei and the headmistress. But all other teachers? Fuck them. They're not worth our time."

"Oh…" was all Deidara could mutter. He followed the two into the dining area where they sat in a rather isolated corner of the room, which was obviously a reserved spot for their little gang. He frowned slightly when he checked his bag. He had no food on him neither did he have any money…ah well he could go without lunch for the day and have something when he got home. He pushed his bag away and sat back in the chair, watching as the hall slowly started to fill up with hungry students.

After a few moments of silence between the table's occupants, someone suddenly glomped Deidara, almost making him fall off his chair. The blonde gave a small squeak, clutching at the back for support. He looked at the person that had glomped him only to blink when he found an orange masked male clinging onto him.

"…Who the fuck are you, un?"

The Orange mask looked up at him and a sort of giggle came from it,

"Hi! I am Tobi! Tobi is a good boy!"

Deidara raised a delicate eyebrow at his. What…the…fuck…riiight…so not only was a freak that wore an orange mask, but he spoke in third person. Hasn't anyone considered calling the mental hospital? Surely there was room for this guy.

Soon there were other possible mental hospital applicants that came to the table and introduced themselves as the other members of Akatsuki. Deidara was then content to sit out of the way to them, watching as they chatted and laughed together and also watched as two of them played tonsil tennis…

He gave a sigh and sank deeper in his seat…when will this madness end?

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Itachi watched as the other members of Akatsuki interacted with each other in a joking manner. He didn't care to join in. He didn't feel like it, but then he never did. His eyes caught the blonde beauty that also didn't seem to want to join in. He sat there, watching her for a while before looking away when she glanced in his direction, obviously sensing his gaze on her. There was something about her that made him curious. She wasn't as she appeared…she was hiding something. And he had seen the hate she had for Orochimaru flash across her face briefly before she masked the expression.

And she seemed a little withdrawn from people as if she didn't want to draw attention to herself in any way. This in itself drew Itachi's attention to her. She had secrets and he was determined to find them out. He could see it in her eyes.

She was an interesting character…certainly interesting enough to catch his interest. He gave a small smirk as he turned blood red eyes back to the bored looking blonde. This should prove to be entertaining.

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A/N: Um…reviews??? nice reviewers get cookies X3


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